When we first start home-educating, we may spend many hours considering which curriculum to use in our home-school, but on excitedly presenting it to our children we may find that they are not keen and eager to start work. This leaves many parents confused: should they change the curriculum? Is it the wrong one? In this post I will explore push-back from children when they are asked to do school work and we will look at practical things that you can do to remedy the situation. Most will find that once these things are considered and put in place, push back diminishes and the curriculum is no longer a problem. Why do children push back?Fred Lybrand says that push back is most likely to occur because the children think that they can win. I.e. that you will back down if they push back hard enough and let them off work. The remedy, he says, is the home-school schedule/routine. Read that again: children push back as they think they can win. Most parents these days do not know how to respond when their children whine and complain when they are asked to do something they find unpleasant. As a result, the children find it easy to manipulate their parents. The remedy is the home-school routine. Many parents think that the only solution is to pander/bribe the children and make school work fun. But Fred Lybrand - who has home-educated a large family of children - says that your home-school routine is the key. In other words, our home-school routine is very often the thing that is encouraging pushback. As, he says, it is not that we do not have a routine; it is an excellent one that encourages pushback. Therefore we need to tweak our routine so that it produces different results - the ones we desire; in this case, children who settle down to study and make good academic progress. This is encouraging: it means that we can control pushback by changing our routine. So now let us turn our focus onto the home-school routine and how it can remedy pushback in our children. The home-school routineFor changes in your family routine to be successful, parents must fully understand and believe in what they are doing and that it is important. Without this determination, the routine will quickly be abandoned and you will be back to square one. So do not rush. Think it through carefully with your spouse and then communicate the new routine to your children. First, understand the seriousness of educationSometimes I hear home-educating mothers say, 'Home-educated children do not need to do as much work as school children'. In and of itself, yes, this is true. They do not need to sit for 6 hours, doing busy work and can most often complete their school work in less time. However, when I hear parents say this, I usually find that the parent has taken it to mean that they can fill their children's day with outings and social events. These may be educational outings and home-school group events, which can seem good. However, this gives the children the, probably hidden, message: 'School work is not important.' Understand how children learn: It is though daily repetition. It is one tiny new skill, practiced until it is mastered. This can be tedious. It takes time and effort on both the pupil's and the teacher's part. It needs the child's full concentration. Let us be clear; we should not home-educate so that our children do not need to do so much work. We home-educate as Christians because we want better for our children; better than what they would receive in school. That means more quality work, and less timewasting so that more (not less) can be accomplished in less time. But none-the less the children need daily, quality time to study. How do we set up our routine to provide daily, quality time study? Set a time for schooling to startStart, as far as is possible, at the same time each day. Children need routine and predictability - it helps them to feel safe, and they must feel safe in order to be able to concentrate on their studies. Mornings are when our brains are, for the main part, at their most alert before the distractions of the day come upon us. By all means have chores for your children to do before school starts. Decide for how long each child should studyYounger children will not need to study for as long as older children. When you begin your new routine, you may need to find out how long a child reasonably needs to say, do a math lesson. Then give a set time. Once that time is up, the child moves on to the next subject. Any work not completed is then done out of hours, while others are doing other things. This gives an incentive to complete work on time and ensures that each subject has its allotted time. An open ended arrangement encourages the child to think that s/he can take all day. Aim for a quiet working atmosphere in the homeduring school time. If you have more than one child, then think through how you will cope if one child finishes before another. My advice is to set mornings aside for working. You will want all children, including toddlers, to know that it is a time for being quiet. It is not a time for playing. I never used to allow play before school in fact, as it acted as a distraction. Our family got up, dressed, had breakfast, did chores and then school started. Decide what will work in your situation. Younger children can always quietly do craft, or other educational activities once their core work is done for the morning. Never let young children go off and play noisily while others are trying to study. Keep any music practice until the afternoon and again to regular times. All children have a right to a quiet study environment to help them to do their best. Free the home from distractionsPermitted distractions give the message that school work is not important and encourage pushback. Yes - I wrote that correctly. Distractions come in many guises. Learn to recognise them, as they are pernicious and can quickly spoil your home-school routine. They give the children an excuse not to study. Children can be easily distracted as work demands effort and they quickly seek relief. The morning work time needs to be guarded carefully. This is time set aside for the children to learn. If these years are wasted, they will never be retrieved. Children need all the help we can give them to fully focus on their studies. Here are some common distractions:
Solution: Let your friends and family know that the answer phone will be on during school time. You may have to be politely firm with people who insist on ringing. The phone ringing and your answering will momentarily (and sometimes totally, if it ends up being a long/interesting call) break the thread of concentration and cause unnecessary errors, lack of thought and care and waste precious time. Turn off your own devices during school time so that the children know that they have your 100 percent attention. If you are distracted, by calls or social media, they will use the opportunity to push back.
In addition, if a child needs more time to complete studies in the afternoon, and we take him/her out, then that opportunity to teach teach a child to work in a set period is lost. Even more distracting are outings planned for the morning, which break up the working rhythm of the week - making it hard to get them back on track the next day, giving opportunity for more pushback. Too many engagements in the calendar can also overstimulate children and the home. They need all their mental capacity to study well - a quiet home environment with a regular routine. It is good for children to be taught to be home-lovers. We go out of the home to minster and to worship the Lord, but we are homebased. We want to raise men who lead their families, rather than chasing their entertaining pursuits away from the home, and we want ladies who are home-makers, not spending many hours out of the home, either physically of virtually. We often forget that we are in the process of training our children's appetites for adulthood. Solution: Select a few, well chosen social activities and consider very carefully when they take place. Aim to keep the home life calm. Avoid lots of out-of-home activities. Avoid mornings as far as is possible. Obviously there will be the odd all-day educational outing during term-time, but these do not need to happen every week. Once a term is good yard-stick.
Although some adults work better with some noise, few children can, in my experience. Solution: I suggest that the home is kept quiet during the morning study period and that children work in as near to silence as can be achieved.
Although many argue that the use of technology for entertainment can help to stimulate children's brains, I find that actually it stops them from learning and creates a barrier that has to be overcome. Computers make learning seem easy with fast paced pictures and a click of a button. They lie, as learning is far from easy and requires a lot of effort and concentration. Dr. Robinson of the Robinson Curriculum suggests that parents keep their children away from technological devices until they have completed their studies. That seems far fetched in our modern society - but it is not impossible and the benefits far outweigh any negatives. Consider:
Solution: Severely limit the time children spend using technological devices. Better still do not let your children have access to them until they are nearly adults. Teach them to love reading, studying and using their minds creatively in a God-honouring way. Teach them to spend their time wisely.
Lax bedtime routines can create tired children who are then irritable and short of temper and ability to concentrate on work. These children will push back hard. A late hour of retiring for parents leaves them tired and vulnerable the next day and easily battled down by irritable children. Solution: Have set bedtimes for all and stick to them. Get up at the same time each day. Set your alarm. Get the children out of bed, unless they are sick. This teaches good habits of self discipline and accountability for the way time is spent. Do not encourage laziness. Keep entertainment - computers/TV out for the bedroom as they are, apart from anything else, destructive to good sleep patterns. Make sure all lights are off at the set time. In conclusionIts a hard fact of life, that many of the things we complain about are actually products of our own behaviour. May we all examine our hearts before God and seek to live orderly, God-honouring, unworldly lives before him and endeavour to train our children to do the same. May the Lord bless your endeavours for him.
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Welcome!After studying for an Early Years Specialism degree (B.Ed. Hons), and teaching in mainstream education, I home-educated my own children, after my husband and I were persuaded of the need to take responsibility for bringing up our children 'in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.' (Ephesians 6:4) We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
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